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On Strike Until Further Notice

by Susan O'Neill.

To the Management:

We the staff of AskingCanadians, along with our colleagues at Delvinia, declare that we are on strike. We will no longer toil in the freezing cold office to develop digital strategies and conduct market research until the following labour conditions have been met:

1. The workday hours will begin at 10 a.m. and end at no later than 2 p.m. with a two-hour lunch break and two 30-minute coffee breaks.

2. Delvinia President (Steve Mast) agrees to stop wearing ill-fitting track pants to the office.

3. A fully defined benefits pension plan is put into place, where the employer contributes $1,000 for each $1 of employee contribution.

4. The CEO (Adam Froman) agrees to stop shaving his back hair in the lunchroom.

5. Guaranteed eight weeks of paid vacation time per year including (ten weeks for a leap year). Any unused vacation days up to a maximum of 365 days can be banked indefinitely for future use.

6. A three-course lunch accompanied by a vintage Burgundy at every Lunch and Learn session.

7. Sixty (60) sick days per year and 45 personal days per year with the right to bank any unused days up to a maximum of 365 days for future use.

8. The right to “work from home” on Fridays and/or when the weather forecast calls for sun and a high of 25 degrees.

9. A $1,000,000 maximum per employee in dental benefits.

10. The President and CEO agree to close the office for the full month of December to allow employees to celebrate the holiday season.

11. Vision benefits consisting of a $200,000 maximum per employee.

12. Any and all personal vehicles belonging to the President and CEO will now be considered company cars, available for use by any employee, at any time.

13. The temperature of the office thermostat to be kept a constant 22 degrees Celsius.

14. Weekly Movie Mondays where at least two hours of the day are set aside for entertainment purposes. Popcorn will be provided.

15. The President and/or CEO will arrive early and stay late to load and unload the dishwasher.

16. A stable wireless network.

17. And finally, the CEO’s office will be turned into a staff lounge with a fully stocked beer fridge, and a DJ.

To support our petition, please Tweet, Like or type ‘Yes’ in the comment box below.

Thank you.